A New Light: Genesis
by DestinyJackie30
Summary: When an ordinary day at school goes bad and monsters attack, Jackie and Bill are told that they're Demigods! They must go to Camp Half-Blood and learn to fight monsters, but lately, many campers have been disappearing at night, never to return. Where have the children of the Big Three gone? Why haven't any Ares kids disappeared? And are Jackie and Bill next?
1. Chapter 1

Mom always told me I was special. She said I was destined for great things, and that as long as I was a good girl and I prayed every night, everything would be okay. A lot of the other Moms think it's weird and bad that I don't have a Dad and he's never home, but they're wrong and stupid. My Dad is always with me, in my heart.

Hi, I'm Jackie. I have blonde hair tied back into a ponytail, and beautiful blue eyes. My mom always says I have my Father's eyes, and she's right, because hers are brown. I wear a black shirt, and a black pleated skirt, but only because it looks like a Nun's clothes, I'm not weird. I also wear white socks and black shoes with black laces and a metal necklace with a Crucifix on it. I'm thirteen years old, and I go to Saint Frobisher's School of Divinity, in New York. There, I learn about God, and all the wonderful things he's done for us.

Sometimes, bad things happen. The Devil tries to trick me by making me see bad things, or making it harder for me to read the Bible, but I don't mind. He can't get me! And I made sure I remembered and learned the whole Bible, so even when he makes it so I can't read anything, I will always hold God's word in my heart.

Sometimes, The Devil sends monsters after me. Like today, in class.

I had just gotten off the School Bus when I ran into... HIM.

If there was ever a worse human to walk the earth, even God wouldn't be able to forgive him. He had brown hair and cold dark green eyes, like a plant that had withered and died in his presence. His name is Bill, and he wears black trousers with red flames on them, bright green and white sneakers, and a shirt with something horrible and mean on it. It's something different every day, and I'm sometimes glad The Devil messes up my sight and tries to blind me to God's world, because it means I don't have to see what his horrible shirt says.

He was in a circle with his two friends, a black-haired guy called John and a fat blond guy called Benjamin, and they were laughing and joking about how dumb we all are just because God loves us and not him. He thinks he's better than us. I hate him, even though God says I shouldn't. He shouldn't even be here, he's only here because everywhere else kicked him out. He's always got his phone out - Mom doesn't want me to have a phone, because The Devil whispers to you through them - and he's talking to his fake friends on the internet. Mom says the internet is okay, but I can only use it when my Mom is watching, because The Devil loves to whisper sweet little lies to you whenever you're using the TV or the Imternet. We don't have a TV. Mom calls them Devil Boxes.

I angrily ignored Bill, and walked harder into the building, meeting up with my friends Mandy and Jessie outside of the IT Class, which had four computers we all shared.

Mandy is really nice. She has blonde hair like me, but she's really shy even though she's almost as pretty as I am. She wears the same clothes as me, because it's the school's uniform. Jessie is funny, too. She laughs at stuff, and she says she wishes she was a fish. When she grows up, she wants to go to Seaworld and work there and swim with the dolphins. She has black hair and has a blue eye and a green eye, and she wears the same clothes as me, but she also has a blue hanky tied around her neck, like Fred from Scooby Doo, except hers is blue, not orange. Mandy has all the Scooby Doo Movie DVDs, and she sneaks a tiny portable DVD Player into school, and we watch it in the bathroom together whenever she gets a new DVD. Her mom said that God said it's okay to watch DVDs, because they're disks and they're not connected to the internet like TVs, so The Devil can't get at them.

"Hey, Jackie!" Mandy said happily.

"Hi!" I said happily, hugging her and then hugging Jessie. These two are my best friends.

"What's first period?" Mandy asked. She didn't have a very good memory.

"Maths with Mrs. Pamela." I said. I had a really good memory.

"Ugggh, that's so BORING! Why can't we learn about something cool, like fish?" Jessie asked us, spreading her arms.

Many laughed, and so did I.

The bell rang, and we went to class.

We were supposed to have maths, but instead, when our teacher came in, eight guys in priest clothes came in with her. After our morning prayer, she said "Now, class, today, some very special students are going to have some very special private sermons."

Some students grumbled about how special I was, but I didn't care. They were just jealous, and God says you're not supposed to be jealous.

"Everyone can go out to play, and first, we'll have... Jackie Chandler, Jessie O'Conner, and Mandy Grimm. Come to the front of the class, and the rest, you may go."

Some kids laughed at my name, because people always do when someone says the whole thing, but I don't know why. It's pronounced Shandler. Not Jandler.

The three of us got up, and everyone else left in an orderly single file.

"Now, I think I'll go and pray." Mrs Pamela said, leaving the room and locking it behind her.

The eight priests suddenly tore off their clothes and revealed their hideous forms, colossally muscular limbs, faces with only one eye, patterns of red upon their chests. They began to hoot and scream and laugh, and then one attacked while the other watched.

The demon let out an ungodly screech as he grabbed Mandy by the head, slamming her against the wall. With his other hand, he punched her in the gut hard enough to break her ribs as she screamed. He let go and she fell to the ground, and he let out a "Huh huh" laugh as he kicked her over and over again.

The rest of them came at us, slowly walking with big grins on their faces, like wolves, and I looked around in fear. The door was on the right side of the room, and the windows have metal lines on them so nobody can break in. But now, they were stopping me from trying to break through the window and escape.

There was only one thing I could do.

I got down on my knees, put my hands together, and started to pray.

Jessie started crying, and screamed at me to do something, to help her, and I could hear the monsters laughing as I kept praying. She started to scream, and shake me, but I ignored her. I was praying to God, and I could feel Him within me, filling me with His light as I kept praying. Jessie's screams got louder and louder as the sounds of hits and breaking bones got louder, but I could feel the prayer working, and I prayed harder.

A high scream that suddenly stopped made me stop and cover my ears, and I opened my eyes to see what was left of Jessie. I threw up, and the monsters found this funny.

My friends were dead.

I stumbled back, scared and confused.

My friends were dead.

Why did they die? Why didn't God save them?

All of my friends were dead, and oh God, I was next!

The monsters got closer to me, backing me up against the wall, and as I felt their fat bodies pressing against me, shoving me further and further into the wall, I screamed.

The three in front of me suddenly exploded and dust went everywhere. I closed my eyes and mouth, coughing, because the dust of hell tasted awful, and I realized that God had answered my prayers, He had come to save me!

I opened my eyes amd saw Bill's fat blonde friend Benjamin swinging a big golden sword, slicing through the monsters like an Angel of God.

Was he... sent by God to protect me?

I heard some really bad words coming from the doorway, and I saw Bill staring, his mouth agape, and his black-haired friend was standing next to him, saying bad words.

Bill ran straight for me, grabbed me, and shook me. "Jackie! Are you alright?!" He asked, a weirdly concerned expression on his face.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, shoving him away.

He punched me in the face, and I stumbled back. "Get over yourself, and TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Bill bellowed.

"EASY!" Bill's black-haired friend called John said as he grabbed Bill's right arm. He stared at his arm for a moment, and then calmed down. "I know this is ****ed up, but that won't help!"

Bill snarled, and turned to watch his friend kill another monster, stabbing him through the chest and cutting up. "Since when is Ben part Klingon?" He asked angrily.

"I don't know... Hey, my head hurts." John said, rubbing his head.

"JOHN, stay with me." Bill said.

"Stay with what?" John asked stupidly. "Woah, what the **** happened here?"

"That's what I want to know." Bill said and glared at me.

"These monsters were sent by The Devil to kill us!" I said, scared. He'd never looked at me like that before! And nobody besides Mom had ever hit me before!

"MONSTERS AREN'T REAL!" Bill shouted, stamping a foot on the ground. "Now what happened here?!"

"I just told you!"

"Of course. What was I thinking, asking a Bible-Basher what happened?" Bill sneered. "I'd be better off asking a beaten, brain-dead dog. Wait a minute, I AM talking to one!"

"Come on, man, this isn't the ****ing time for that!" John said.

"You're horrible!" I yelled at Bill.

Bill ignored me, his eyes looking around the room. He then went over to grab a hard wooden ruler, while the monsters were busy fighting Ben, who was starting to lose. A monster swung his club, and Ben blocked it with his sword, but then another monster kicked him in the special place, and Ben screamed and fell down.

Bill snuck up behind one of the demons and stabbed his wooden ruler through one of the demon's eyes, ducking to grab Ben's sword and slice it through the monster's chest while they were distracted. He then jumped and swung it through another demon's neck, chopping its head off, its body turning to dust. I had no idea he was this fast! The monsters then realized what was going on, but if he could fight, so could I.

"DIE, GODLESS ABOMINATION!" I screamed as I ran and jumped off a table so I could grab one of the monster's eyes and shove my fingers into its eyes. It screamed, and I yelled "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" over and over while it screamed and backed up into a wall, crushing me, but I kept my grip and kept yelling even as I felt a rib snap.

In that moment of surprise, Bill stabbed through the other one's chest and then killed the one I had my hands on, and then all the demons were dead.

"...Holy ****." John said, and when I looked at him, I noticed that he'd peed his pants. I laughed.

Ben moaned and slowly got up, and Bill backed away, keeping the gold sword. "I'm keeping this until SOMEONE TELLS ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON." Bill said.

"Demons from hell came to kill-" I started to say.

"SHUT! UP!" Bill shouted. He then pointed his new sword at Benjamin. "You. Ben. You couldn't move that fast, not before today. You're legs are ****ed up, courtesy of your God-fearing parents. SO WHY DO YOU HAVE HORSE LEGS?!"

He bleated angrily. "They're Goat legs! I'm a Satyr!"

"And I'm a ****ing King of the Faries." Bill said sarcastically, waving the sword above his head.

"Hey! I have Goat legs, and the guest speakers here just turned into monsters that become dust when I stab them. Do you have a logical explanation for that?"

"Yes. Whatever they put in the water here has finally ****ed up my brain, too." Bill said.

"We both know you only drink purified tapwater." Benjamin pointed out.

"Then they held me down and put pills down my throat, or they put LXD in the communion wine, or I'm dreaming and I'm about to make out with Twily after I kill you all with my brain."

"Uh, No." Benjamin said, stunned. And then he pointed right at me. "If this was a dream, would she be walking around? Or would she be tied up and in stocks or something, while people read real books to her, eyes propped open with razor blades while she's forced to watch good TV shows, a gag in her mouth to stop her from praying?"

"Hmm, you have a point." Bill said, glancing at me and imagining dirty things. I put my hands together and prayed to God and asked Him to protect my purity and punish him for his sins, and Bill laughed at me.

"But really... Bill..." Benjamin said. "Have you ever seen something you can't explain?"

"Tide comes in!" Bill said with a stupid grin, and Benjamin and John grinned and joined in. "TIDE GOES OUT. YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT!"

The three laughed at their own stupidness. Everyone knows tides happen thanks to God, just like everything else. I don't know why the three of them keep saying that. Maybe because they don't want to believe in God. Even though God is all around us, and they're just ignorant of how wonderful God is.

"But really, Bill." Benjamin said. "Have you ever had a dream you were so sure was real? Have you ever seen something, and known in your heart that you're meant for something more than this?"

"Yes, duh. Hi, I'm Bill, have we met?"

"Fine! **** the speech! Everything you know is wrong, and you're coming with me to Camp Half-Blood. You're a Demigod, and the monster attack was to lure you here."

"I ****ING KNEW IT!" Bill shouted. "So, who's my real dad? Thor? Odin?"

"Don't be silly, everyone knows the Norse Gods are a myth." Benjamin chuckled.

"ALL GODS ARE A MYTH!" Bill yelled.

"God isn't a myth!" I shouted. "He created all of us, even you!"

"Shut up, the grown-ups are talking." Bill snapped. I angrily prayed to god and asked Him to strike him with lightning, but not really, I just wanted to scare him and I was thinking to God to beg him to forgive him. Bill just laughed, because he thinks the Devil protects him from God's powers. But that isn't right, because God is stronger. Hr's just trying to annoy me. "So, what's this camp?"

"OH MY GOD!" John suddenly screamed, backing away from us and looking around. "You... you killed everyone!" He yelled at me.

"What's his damage?" Bill asked John. "Is he the Demigod of idiots now?"

"No, he's a Mortal, and the Myst is clouding his sight. We have to get out of here!" Bemjamin said.

"First, what is Camp Half-Blood?" Bill said, holding up his new sword.

"It's a place for people like you, with Greek God parents."

"Oh, sure, GREEK gods. Because endless tales of debauchery and *** all over the ****ing floor is SO MUCH MORE BELIEVABLE than Viking Gods or Ninja Gods or a SUPER-GOD."

"Just come with me!" Benjamin shouted, and we both followed him while John sat in a corner and cried like a loser.

"Not you, you stay." Bill said to me.

"Actually, she's a Demigod, too." Benjamin said, sniffing me. It was weird.

"My mom tells me my dad is God." I said.

"And she's right." Benjamin said, and I gasped happily. "And we're going to a magical place where all the other Sons and Daughters of God live."

I happydanced.

"Of course her Dad's a God. I bet it's Eros. Or Hermaphroditos." Bill said, and Benjamin laughed. Bill then clicked a button he noticed on his sword, and it turned into a pen. "MINE." Bill said, putting it in his pocket.

The three of us walked out the door, and Benjamin led us to the teacher's car park. He took off his trousers and shoes, and broke the glass by kicking it with his goat legs. He opened the door and unlocked it, and got a twig out of his pocket with a leaf on it, and he put into the keyhole and twisted, and the car started.

"That isn't scientifically possible." Bill said, putting on his seat belt and sounding like he was going crazy. "You are not scientifically possible!"

I angrily ignored him and put on my seat belt. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Camp Half-Blood." Benjamin said, and floored it.

AN- here we go! My first fanfic! Bill and our friends are based on my friends IRL, and we're friends really, but we weren't always friends and this story takes place before we became best friends. I'm also not really a Demigod, but it would be awesome if I was. About the other characters, the story isn't about them, so they had to die. Also there won't be a love triangle like in Twilight because I don't like Twilight. Yes, Edward is pretty, but he's a vampire and he's really old, and Bella is really lame and stupid. My character will be a lot cooler than Bella. The weird stuff Bill says is based on stuff I heard him say and stuff he asked me to put in the story. R+R, and I'll post the second chapter soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Pjo 2E

The three of us sat in the stolen car as Bill's friend drove at almost seventy miles an hour, and I had to sit in the back because the driver is Ben's friend. The song Highway to Hell played on the radio, and I asked if he could change it to something better.

"NO." They both said, and bumped fists.

I supposed it wasn't all that bad. The song certainly fit, if what he told me was true.

We were going to a camp for kids with God as their parent. A dream come true.

Except... it wasn't THE God, it was just some other gods from other myths, wrong and dumb ones. They didn't even have bibles or believers any more, or schools that proved they were right, so how could they be true?

We came up to the camp, but then a pack of six giant snakes came out of the forest and began to circle our car.

"No." Benjamin whispered in fear, and then got angry. "No, no, no, no!" He yelled angrily, swerving to the side, grinding a snake between a tree and cracking the tree in half, only for a different snake to rush right into the car's front.

My body jerked forwards and ny face slammed against the driver's seat, blood spraying everywhere as I screamed and clutched at my bleeding nose, my face absolutely covered in red. The windscreen was smashed in and one snake jumped into the car, biting into the upper body of Benjamin and thrashing him around, hitting Bill with him and breaking his bones before swallowing him.

Bill screamed bloody hatred as he grabbed onto the giant snake and pulled out his pen, turning it into a sword, and stabbed his sword into the monster's right eye, only for it to slither away as another one tackled him.

The snake attacked him from the back, but he rolled to the side and stabbed his sword into the monster as it flew past, opening it up and revealing the gold dust inside as the rest of its body disintegrated.

I got out and tried to help, and a snake slithered at me and leapt right at my face, mouth open wide. I swung my whole body like I'd seen my dead best friend do, and punched the snake right in the right tooth, knocking it out as Bill threw his sword at it, stabbing it in the eye, everything except the tooth on the floor turning to gold dust. I picked it up and could only watch as the remaining snakes focused on Bill.

Bill had joked about being a demon before, but now, I could truly see it. The beast shaped like a man screamed and roared as he cut through the snakes as they leapt at him, dodging and leaning just in time to swing and kill.

I wished I could help, but all I had in my hands was this stupid snake's tooth, about two feet long. And then the snake's tooth transformed, becoming a long and thin sword made of a white metal harder than steel. On its blade, there was an inscription, those old letters the bible was originally written in.

"Ivory." I whispered, reading its name aloud.

I looked up and got ready to fight, but Bill had already killed most of the snakes.

Now, only one was left, the one that had killed hisbfriend, but he wasn't satisfied with just killing that one.

He screamed so hard I thought he was going to choke, and he tossed his sword away as he ran and straight at the snake. I thought he was going to get himself killed, and eaten but then he tackled the snake and wrapped his right hand and arm around its jaw to keep it shut while his left hand drove straight into the snake's eye, reaching deeper and deeper as it thrashed and swung him around, its tail lashing as he shoved his arm in further and further, going in up to the elbow and then past that, his shoulder smacking the snake in the eye socket as his hand wrapped around the first thing he felt and tore it out, pulling out the snake's brain and throwing it on the floor beside it like a soaked towel, blood flying everywhere with a wet splat.

The snake stopped moving, completely dead, slumping to the ground like a shot animal.

But that still wasn't enough. Bill screamed and howled and cried as he stamped on the snake's brain over and over again, screaming like a mad beast. His eyes ruptured and their whites turned red, the coloured part of the eye turning a bright orange as sparks appeared around his form, leaving behind red trails of raw hatred.

Unable to take any more, I bent over and threw up on the floor, but I could still hear the stamping and screaming and squishing. Oh GOD, the squishing! In that moment, I finally understood why athiests exist, and why God didn't love him the way he loved me.

Bill was... an even bigger monster than those snakes.

I sunk to my knees, not even caring that I was getting my clothes wet and dirty. My friends were dead, my driver was dead, I was in the middle of nowhere, and the only friend I had for miles was a violent, amoral, athiestic monster.

His screams got louder, and the squishing and stamping stopped, replaced with a rhythm of thumps. I looked up, only to see Bill furiously punch and kick and elbow the dead snake head. The loud thumps echoed through the silent forest, even though his hits didn't seem to be doing anything.

I got up, and walked over to him. "Bill, stop!" I shouted.

He screamed louder, and swung his elbow down into the snake's head, caving the entire thing in, blood spurting all over him like a shaken soda can he'd opened, but he didn't even care. He stopped, because the snake was dead.

He slowly stood up, shaking with fury. "I swear..." He growled, sounding like his lungs were filled with blood.

I took a step closer.

He suddenly turned around, his hair whipping around and flicking blood at me. "I'M GOING TO KILL GOD!" He screamed.

My eyes wide open and glistening with tears, my mouth, I could only watch as he took off his shirt, wiped his face and hair with the unbloodied back, and went to get his sword. He put his shirt back on, picked up his sword, clicked the hidden button, and turned it back into a pen as he put it in his pocket.

He turned and walked away down the dirt path, without me, and his eyes turned back to normal.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Camp Half-Blood." Bill growled. "I'll find Demigods like me. They can join me. These swords can kill monsters with one touch. I'll find a way to make weapons that can kill Gods, and kill EVERY LAST ONE!"

"Bill, you're scaring me." I said.

"I. Don't. Care." He spat, and ran to where he guessed Camp Half-Blood would be.

I followed, worried about Bill, and wondering what I was supposed to do about my new sword, Ivory.

We soon got to camp, finding a bunch of girls on the perimeter with bows and arrows aimed at us. They all had pretty hairstyles and fancy clothes like the girls from Beverly Hills Chihuaha, but an orange jacked with CHB was on each of their chests, opened up and revealing their clothes that to me, might as well be swimswuits. I blushed just looking at them, and I was a girl! That was how bad their clothing was!

"We're here to visit Camp Half-Blood!" Bill shouted. "Benjamin told us to come here!"

"Who's Benjamin?" Asked a really pretty blond girl with a face spoiled by an angry look.

"The goat-man my age, who told us we were Half-Bloods when monsters attacked Jackie over here. I'm Bill." Bill said, pointing at me.

"Oh, you must mean Bayleaf. He uses human names to blend in." The blond girl said. "Where is he?"

"He's... dead." Bill growled. "Giant Snakes attacked the car we stole to get here."

They gasped. "Bayleaf is... dead?" The blond girl asked in surprise.

Bill grit his teeth and clenched his fists, holding his body still, looking down, hair hiding his eyes. The blond girl walked towards him, but he didn't care.

She grabbed him, hugging him tightly. "It's alright... I miss him, too."

"He was... my best friend!" Bill whispered, crying.

"He was my boyfriend, too." The blond said. "I'm Amy. We knew each other since we were eight."

Everyone was quiet, their heads bowed, as Bill wept into her shoulder, and she wept into his chest. I knelt, clasped my hands, and began to pray.

Lord, you have been our dwelling place

in all generations.

Before the mountains were brought forth,

or ever you had formed the earth and the world,

from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust

and say, "Return, O children of man!"

For a thousand years in your sight

are but as yesterday when it is past,

or as a watch in the night.

You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,

like grass that is renewed in the morning:

in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;

in the evening it fades and withers.

For we are brought to an end by your anger;

by your wrath we are dismayed.

"Amen." I finished, getting up.

"What kind of a prophechy is that?" Asked Amy.

"That was prayer. We use it to talk to God." I said.

"You mean, The Gods?" Amy asked. "You're a seer?"

"No. My father is God." I said.

"One of them, according to Ben... 'Bayleaf'." Bill sighed. "You know what sucks? I knew the guy for almost a whole year, he was my best friend, and... I didn't really know him at all. I don't know how much of what he said was real, and how much was him trying to make me like him. I know the story he fed me about his bible-thumper parents was clearly a lie, and the same went for what species he was. I didn't... I didn't even know his real name. He fought for me, he died so we could get here, and... I didn't even know his real name."

"Cheer up, Bill!" I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "He's in a better place now. He's in Heaven, with God!"

He punched me in the gut so hard I vomited blood and fell to the ground.

"Never... Say that to me... Again." He growled, and walked into camp.

Amy and most of the other girls followed him, and only one girl stayed with me, bow drawn, ready to fire an arrow at me if I moved.

What happened?

When I could move again, I went into camp, and she followed behind me, arrow still pointed at me.

I later found out that these girls were from the Aphrodite cabin, they had guard duty today, and this really was Camp Half-Blood. We were going to live here, because the world was full of monsters. This place trained little kids to fight monsters, and this camp was the only safe haven from them.

The kids here all had powers, though each one's powers were different, and they stayed in a cabin named after the Greek gods they had powers similar to.

I didn't really believe any of these could be actual sons of Greek gods. After all, they're not real. If the Greek gods are real, then how is God real? Checkmate, Greecians.

I don't actually know what that means, but Bill says it a lot after saying something he thinks proves that he's right and God is wrong. Stupid, arrogant athiest.

But when I went into camp and met the horse-man camp owner guy, I screamed and ran away in fear, an arrow flying into my back once I'd cleared the lake.


	3. Chapter 3

Pjo 3

A/N: This next chapter stars Bill, and was written by him. Enjoy!

As I passed through the village and tried to ignore the smell of snake blood on my hands and body, Amy suggested I freshen up at her place before heading to my Cabin.

I asked what my Cabin would be, and she pointed up at the area above my head, where a flaming sigil of a hammer and anvil was displayed.

"You're a member of the nerd cabin?" One of Amy's idiot friends asked, surprised. "But... you're hot!"

"D**n right I am." I said, nodding once and smirking, folding my arms.

We went to the Aphrodite cabin, where I was brought to a large set of private showers, pearl floors and stainless steel showerheads in each perfectly-crafted shower room. It was like Donald Trump had been tied to a chair with straps made from the intestines of his and the other one's blind sheeple voters by hot leather-clad women after a bsmd scene so gratuitous and extreme it would make the author of that Sword of Truth pile of horseapples hang himself with makeshift rope crafted from the shred of the US Constitution every FBI, CIA and NSA member keeps in their underwear to add insult to injury, his eyes held open by cocktail sticks as he was tazed repeatedly in the Emprah's Thrones and forced to watch the abomination most television channels had become, his tears being bottled up by Broly Cosplayers in french maid outfits and sold online to rich jerks while Miku Hatsune cosplayers struck his God Emperor with whips and tiny HD cameras recorded the whole somber yet hilarious affair and put it on Twitch and Youtube. Yet because God doesn't deserve to exist, this webshow was less popular than the crap Pewdiepie put out and shoveled into the opened mouths of his rabid fangirls, Youtube's flawed monetized system giving him more money than more deserving Youtubers, like Smosh, which is actually funny, unlike CollegeHumour.

And the money gained from those sold tear vials was spent on this amazingly beautiful and disgustingly opulent bath room house shower place for the rich and beautiful idiots of the camp.

I felt bile rise to my throat as my amazing mind calculated what this place cost to build, and just what a competent human that wasn't a self-obsessed jerkwad could build with that money. Or how many homeless people he could feed, or how many houses he could build, or how many lives he could save. Just like that Manspreading incident that proved what a certain group is really all about when they raised enough money to buy homes for all the homeless in America... and blew all that money on unnecessary signs on trains insulting to men, I was once again reminded that money and /AUTHOR'S NOTE: Bill, you can't say that!/ simply do not mix.

I let out a long, unimpressed sigh. "How much money did you blow on this?"

"I 'unno." One Aphrodite girl said inarticulately. "We don't do money, we just look pretty."

I glared at her. "Get out."

"You can't tell me what to do!" She shouted.

I walked to her, smirked, and /AUTHOR'S NOTE BILL WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THIS STORY IS RATED FOR KIDS BECAUSE IT IS GOOD!

She fell to her knees, redder than Barrack Obama's political leanings, and collapsed.

"How about now?" I asked, getting on top of the idiot and resting my trainer on her /STOMACH/. I squished it down with my foot, smirking as she screamed and started to /TRY TO GET UP/ . We were two consenting adults in America, so this was acceptable, no matter what the Moral Guardians said. After all, if this is America, land of the free, then why are armed drones allowed, and why is /A THING/ legal in most states, while it wasn't until /A DAY that /A DIFFERENT THING/ became legal? /BILL THEY ARE KIDS BECAUSE THIS IS A BOOK FANFIC NOT A MOVIE FANFIC I TOLD YOU THIS ALREADY. BUT THAT WOULD BE DISGUSTING IF THEY WERE NOT KIDS... FINE, THEY ARE ALL 16 NOW LIKE IN THE MOVIES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE WEIRD AND HORRIBLE IF IT WASN'T. ARE YOU HAPPY? WE'RE STILL IN THE BOOK WORLD THOUGH BECAUSE THE BOOKS ARE BETTER.

While this went on, the others just watched, stunned that this was happening to one of their own.

"How are you doing this?" One of Amy's dumb friends wondered. "She's beautiful, like all of us. And you're a man. A man! Why aren't you kissing our butts?"

"Because I don't give a flying feather about beauty." I said, squishing elsewhere /AND BY THAT HE MEANS THE LEG and making the girl beneath my sole scream, her so-called friends watching with fascinated yet horrified expressions, like they were playing Sims for the first time, they'd just made a wooden house with an open fireplace, or they were playing Rollercoaster Tycoon and they'd build a dangerous and unfinished rollercoaster, and as they watched their sims burn and die horribly or cheer as they flew on to their deaths or were launched into orbit, they finally understood in that moment why God lets bad things happen to good people, and why he's nothing more than a mean kid with a magnifying glass worthy of nothing more than mild dislike and a hatred of his sheeple cults. "We humans are nothing more than fleshy insects without our minds, so why would I lose mine over the fact that one flesh insect has bigger mandibles or a bigger thorax?" I asked, removing my foot and reaching down my hand.

"Huh?" The girl on the floor asked, confused.

"Get up." I said.

She grabbed his hand and got up. "You... literally walked all over me."

"Yes, I did." I said, smirking. "Got a problem with that?"

"N-no." She said quietly.

"What the Tartarus is wrong with you? Are you insane?" Asked the one girl that didn't like this.

"No, I'm the sanest being on this planet." I said coldly. Cool as that sounded, it was cooler in my head. Still cooler than that idiot mary-sue from that awful Potter fanfic, though. "Now, leave. Getting all this snake blood off my hands will take a while."

The Aphrodite girls laughed as they circled around me and one grabbed the soap, another grabbing shampoo and conditioner.

"Aw, he's so cute!" Said a girl.

"You have no idea what you're in for."

"You're in our cabin... You bathe with us."

"And after what you did to Karen... Do you really think we'll let you off the hook that easily?"

"Ok." I said. "But any funny business, and you'll all find a special delivery in your mailboxes that can't be traced back to me."

Amy blinked. "What? You... you're not going to blush and freak out?"

"No. I'm actually mature." I said flatly. "What kind of books have you been reading?"

I heard a loud thud, and saw that one of the girls had passed out.

"Dibs." I jokingly called out.

Three girls threatened my Emprah and his Golden Throne with bronze knives they pulled out from /NO.

"I was joking, stupid." I said flatly. /GOOD.

After having my body washed by a bunch of weird girls and one cool one, I was smelling cleaner than the 1% would like you to believe they are, and I radiated more beauty and radiance than the shiniest turd polished so he can become President without people wondering how the one nobody voted for became president anyway. I was pretty sure there was some magic in those bottles, and the golden magical glow around my form would be a lot cooler if it didn't also make rose petals appear when I blinked and cause me to literally create rainbows every time I passed gas.

Perhaps it was a dumb idea to squish someone in their own cabin, their friends around, even if they did nothing to stop it and only thought about doing something once it was over, content to watch like a moron standing around and watching a train crash in slow motion, everyone dying horribly while the sheeple just stare, only doing something afterwards to prove that they want to be seen as a good person by their group. Then again, I hate shallow idiots with nothing besides the pretty face they were born with or gained through surgery, and therefore, everyone in that stupid cabin besides Amy, since she seems to have an actual mind in that head. And she likes good music. By the way, even though I am a mature and rational man, actually farting out rainbow lasers was a hilarious and surreal experience. It made me want to aim at the sun, create a double rainboom, and then roll in money for farting out something so incredibly mediocre, only getting popular because I did it first, just like EVERYTHING ELSE PRODUCED BY THAT FANDOM THAT THEY CONSIDER POPULAR AND GOOD. ALSO, THAT FANDOM, STOP WRITING STUPID FANFICS WHERE A CHARACTER ONLY DOES A THING. IF A STORY IS LESS THAN A THOUSAND WORDS AND HAS NO GOOD PLOT, IT IS NOT A STORY.

My bloodied clothes had been sent away for cleaning, probably by wood elves or something, and I watched from a window as Amy went outside, stopped two guys in their tracks, and demanded they give her their clothes. They said ok, and walked back to their cabins with grins on their faces as they planned to tell their friends that a girl had seen their Yamchas. That's right, I called them that. It fits: Disappointing, never any use, no help at all, and likely quick to go down.

The Aphrodite cabin then set about making new, awesome clothes for me out of everything they'd already gathered in a manner I didn't care much for.

And that was why I left the cabin wearing a grey chainmail shirt over a long-sleeved blue shirt, a gold jacket on my back with no symbol (yet) and big golden Saiyan shoulderpads, and black leather pants with useless but awesome leather straps around the legs with big gold buckles, and horse-riding boots with sharp spurs on the heels. A riding crop made of Imperial Gold with a leather tip to hide the bladed end was also given to me, and it went into a special slot in my boots. I also had a belt with a golden buckle, and when I pressed a hidden button, a shield of golden spinning air appeared around me. On my head, my once-messy brown hair had been given a center parting, like Levi from Attack on Titan, and a military officer's cap adorned my head, black and gold with a golden skull on a black background for the symbol. I looked at myself in the mirror of the water's reflection, and folded my arms. "...I look like Vegeta just got back from Emprah's Topic after going Sweet Apple Massacre on Edward Elric's clothes." I chuckled darkly.

I smirked. "Only I could pull this look off."

My smirk faded away as I continued to stare into the lake. "Benjamin... Bayleaf... This is what you wanted, right? I'm at Camp Halfblood, I'm being myself and shaking things up just like we always talked about. This world could use some shaking up, and a good kick in the Celestial Spheres to get it going in the right direction... And it takes a truly great man to go against the flow."

I looked up. "I wonder... if the Greek Gods are real... does that mean you're... up there? Are you living it up with Zeus and Hermaphroditos and Archipelago, drinking soma and mana from wine glasses?"

I looked down. "No. No, you're dead, and to think otherwise is just wishful thinking. This is a camp for Metahumans with unnatural abilities, the God stuff is just a cover-up to keep us from going X-Men on this sorry planet's ***hole."

I said it aloud, like I always did, but... denying things didn't give me the pleasure it usually did. What was wrong with me?

"Bayleaf... I know so little about you. So much about you was faked, but... you were the most real person I'd ever met. And your smile, your laugh... some things just can't be faked. I swear, I'll avenge you, and build that new world of science and hope we always talked about."

I briefly kissed my left hand, the hand that touched his for the briefest of moments. I wished I could talk to him, I wished I could see him, but... I couldn't.

He had died, he'd been eaten by snakes...

My only other friend's mind had cracked...

And I was the only one left.

Once again...

I was alone.

I heard an odd sound, and looked up. I then noticed my best frenemy Jackie running across the surface of the water, away from a horse-man and two of my fellow teens. "What the Space Fu-" I asked furiously.

"Nnnnnope." I said, calm, turning around and walking to my cabin. "She's not my problem any more. Time to check out my new cabin."

The inside of the cabin was awesome, like the spirit of steampunk came to life and murdered all the filthy hipsters that couldn't steam or punk to save their lives in an ultra-gory ripoff of A Christmas Carol that also ripped off Fifty Sharts of Goat, a screenplay I wrote where a goat-herding seventy-something old man named Oak uses the Jedi mind trick to make a pathetic loser of a woman think she's his pet puppy, and proceeds to kick her around to see if she'll snap out of it, but she never does. The spirit then found the Emprah's spirit and did things that would make Commissars blam themselves for witnessing such heresy, and this badass room was their extra heretical forge world baby.

But the people here were not awesome. They were lame. They looked like generic nerd characters from the old and stupid TV shows my dead grandma used to watch, but more forgey, but not forgey enough. Or Orky.

"So, let me get this straight." I said. "We make ALL THE THINGS, including real swords, training swords, saddles, pegasus riding gear, cow tools, clop toys, and so on, and because we're the sons and daughters of THE GOD OF THE FORGE, FIRE, AND CRAFTSMEN... we're treated like generic nerds?"

"Pretty much." Said a black-haired guy with sorta-dark skin. Not dark, just sorta-dark.

"This stops here." I said, beginning to channel the child of William Shatner, Batman and Kamina. "Do you have any idea the power we wield? We craft, we create, WE BUILD. We are HUMANITY, and THIS IS OUR POWER! For this to be ENHANCED by SUPERNATURAL ABILITIES? We're practically-"

"Don't say Gods!" One hot girl yelled in fear.

I smirked. Paaaaaause for dramatic effect, I thought.

"Saiyans." I said.

I folded my arms and let my golden glow speak for itself.

"What are those?" One guy asked cluelessly.

"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!" I yelled. "I am the mighty Bill Q. Heisenberg, king of machines and Forge World Master! I hereby form Team Tai-Gurren, and our first mission? WE GET S**T DONE!"

Everyone gasped.

"You... you said a bad word!" One guy gasped.

"You didn't even use a similar word, like schist!" Said another.

"That's because we here in Team Tai-Gurren don't go halfway on ANYTHING. We go ALL THE WAY, AND FURTHER! We surpass our rivals and then KEEP GOING! Kick restraint to the curb and GO BEYOND THE IMPOSSIBLE! DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS! We build SKYSCRAPERS, ATOMIC BOMBS, GIANT ROBOTS AND EPIC BATTLESUITS! WHAT WE WANT, WE BUILD, FOR WE ARE HUMANITY! All the animals on the planet, with their fangs and claws and talons and wings, CAN TAKE THEIR EVOLUTIONARY ADVANTAGES, AND PUT THEM TO GOOD USS FLEEING FROM OUR SWORDS, OUR GUNS, AND OUR HEARTS! HUMANITY, **** YEAH!"

I kept chanting it, punching the sky, and one of my cabinmates joined in. And then, another, and another joined in. Soon, everyone was punching the sky and cheering my name, and I loved it.

I'd lit a fire within them, stoked the flames of their heart.

I'm no God...

I'm something BETTER.

I am Bill Q. Heisenberg, and Ben...

I will avenge you.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors note Mandy and Jessie I'm so sorry you died in this! I love you both with all my heart and I'm sorry you didn't like it, but my character didn't have her powers yet and neither did Bill. But you weren't the main characte,r and you said you didn't want to be one, so you died there. And you wouldn't let me go off to Camp Half-Blood without coming with me but this isnt a human story, its a demigod story, but you didnt want to be demigods. But you would only let me go alone without you by my side if you died, and it would be too sad if you had to stay outside the camp the whole time. Also, readers, those aren't their real last names, they chose their own fake last names for the story, but Bill said I shouls have my real last name because it's cool, even though people sometimes make fun of me. He thinks Jackie Chan from Jackie Chan Adventures is awesome, and so do I. Mandy likes a show called The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, it's a show where there's a dumb guy and a mean girl and they're friends with the Grim Reaper, who has a scythe and he has to get souls from people that die but don't really die until he gets them. Also he sounds like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid. It sounds like something Bill would like, but... actually it is so funny! I threw up when Billy cut his nose though. It was worse than the poop movie Bill showed me when we were kids. Also I do not really have bad eyesight but the character does because she is a demigod and they do in the Percy Jackson books. Also I am not really SUPERRELIGIOUS like the Jackie in this story, but my mom wishes I was. Also Bill helped me plan out the story and convinced me to write. But even though I am Christian Bill sent me this fanfic called The Prayer Warriors because he said it was made by a Christian, so I thought it would be good and OH MY GOD IT WAS AWFUL! It was weird and scary and bad and REALLY mean. The writer sounds like an angry crazy person, and acts like Bill thinks we all do. I bet he punches kids that don't pray enough, and shoots obama posters with shotguns every night. I don't care much for him. Also the scene where Bill's friend died and Bill killed the snakes was his idea, he shared me a video from one of his weird shows where a giant monster ate a girly guys friends and he chopped his head off while being scary. I thought it was A little scary but not as scary as the scariest thing ever. He said to put in a scene like that so I did. He said the atheist stuff took away from its awesomeness but I got the scene right anyway even though the perspective was skewered. But I didn't think it was awesome, I thought it was scary. Also, haters, if you hate my story, have the guts to make an account before flaming me. If I'm brave enough to make a story and put it on the internet for all sorts of people to see, you should be brave enough to let people know your fake internet name at your age. Also, Bill says you are a baby. Also, did anyone like the chapter Bill wrote? It was a little weird and I had to censor some stuff, but the human bit at the end was cool. I bet he'd make an awesome preacher. Also I wrote this chapter, but there were a bunch of jokes Bill wanted me to put in, he said they're a reference to an old and super-scientific movie I wouldn't like, the main character can evolve into a monkey monster and god is lame and a bug. Only it's better than the other science show, Big Bang Theory. He hates that show, even though he watches every episode and yells about how much it sucks and how it's worse than Cansitler later. I don't understand that at all. Enjoy the show!

I woke up in a white hospital room in a bed with a green blanket. My head was propped up by a white pillow, and my mouth felt funny.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"Why am I here? What is my purpose?" Bill asked in a high voice, sounding like Mickey Mouse. I didn't sound like that, I sound like Miley Stewart, like my mom. I raised my head and saw him and two others. "Oh, right, to read the bible over and over and never watch good Anime. Haha!"

"What's anime?" Asked a girl with purple jeans, sky-blue hair spiked forwards with a spiked-up bit at the back, and a puffy sleeveless orange jacket with with a shirt under it with long sleeves and a cool three-foot bronze sword at her hip with pointy lines on it. She was pretty. I felt a little jealous about how pretty she was, but then I remembered Envy was a sin, and I felt better.

Bill turned to her and grinned. "Oh, you are in for the best show ever."

"She already gets that show every night!" Said the boy next to him, a blonde boy that looked like Justin Bieber but with Bevis from Bevis and Butthead's hair. I saw an episode of that show once on the internet, it was really dumb. "In beeaaeaaaeaaeed!"

"Shut up, Miles." Bill said.

"I don't get a show." Hilda pouted cutely. I pinched myself because I felt weird and Mom said that's what I should do if I felt weird, because it's a trick.

"Jackie, this is Hilda, she's half German and half Plant Girl or whatever. She's cool. And then there's Miles. When you saw the Horse Man and freaked out, he shot you in the butt. Behind you, there's a healer girl from the Healer house, because healing is very difficult when you have magical Senzu Bean ripoffs."

"His name is Chiron!" Hilda, the girl, declared.

"And I didn't shoot her in the butt!" Miles said angrily. "Even if it is a nice-"

"Shut up, Miles." Bill said, glaring at him. Like a weak puppy, he backed off, looking away.

"So... whose kid are you?" Hilda asked.

"God's." I said.

"Yeah, which one?" She asked.

"The God."

"Yeah, which one?" She asked, angrier.

"The God."

"Yeah, which god? Which schisty god?" She asked.

"The God."

"WHICH ONE?! WHICH GOD?" She asked.

"THE God."

Miles laughed, and she glared at him.

"Anyway, good thing we had those Senzu Beans." Bill said.

"Stop calling them that!" Said the healer. I turned my head and saw her, she had red hair and looked like Ginny Weasley. "It's called Ambrosia!"

"And what is Ambrosia, huh?" Bill asked.

"It's magical biscuits and honey you eat, it heals you and restores you to your full power."

"So, it's just like the Senzu Bean." Bill commented snidely.

"A what?" The healer asked.

"Senzu Bean. From Dragon Ball? Dragon Ball Z? Dragon Ball... ugh... G.T.?" Bill asked, hating Dragon Ball G.T. because it was terrible. I knew it was terrible because he said so, and between us, he was the anime expert.

"I have no idea what that is." She admitted.

"You poor, unfortunate soul!" Bill said, hugging her. She looked around, surprised, and whispered "Help me!" to Miles.

Miles grinned, and mouthed "NO". Hilda angrily glared at him.

Bill let go. "But really, you've never seen Dragon Ball?"

"I've seen Dragon Balls!" Miles boasted stupidly. "Real biiig-"

"Shut up, Miles." Bill said, shutting him up. "But really, Shannon, you've never even heard of D.B.Z.?"

"No, but that's not important. What are these Senzu Beans?" The healer asked.

"They're magic beans, and if you eat them, they heal you." Bill said.

"Oh, no. Ambrosia is completely different." Said Shannon.

"How so?" Bill asked skeptically, folding his arms to display his skeptical dominance.

"Well, they're squares of biscuit with honey. Heroes eat them when they get hurt."

"So they're just like Senzu Beans."

"No, it's Ambrosia. They have magic that restores your body when you eat them!"

"So they're just like Senzu Beans."

"No, it's Ambrosia. But when you eat them, you also gain a huge boost in power, and it's dangerous to eat too many!"

"So they're just like the Kaio-Ken." Bill said.

"Kaio-What?" Miles asked.

Bill punched him in the face so hard he was knocked to the ground. "Shut up, Miles." Bill said.

"I'd like shom Ambrosia please." Miles said weakly.

"Doctor Ambrosia!" Shannon declared, getting some ambrosia out of her pocket.

A square of ambrosia was thrown at his face like a dog biscuit, where it bounced off and fell on the floor.

"Thaaanks" Miles said weakly, picking it up with his tongue and eating it. Once he'd eaten it, he got up, face no longer hurt, a burst of power around him. "Heck yeah!" He yelled, and went outside.

"So, it turns out I'm-" Bill said.

"YES! IT GREW BACK!" Miles's voice yelled.

"Idiot." Hilda commented.

"Anyway, turns out I'm a Forge Worlder." Bill admitted.

"A Forge... What?" Shannon asked.

"A Hephaestus kid. He thinks it sounds cooler, and fits a 'Badass steampunk forgemaster and bronze-coated badass' cabin more." Hilda admitted.

"It does." Bill said. "By the way, we have powers, and this camp exists to train us. Sorta like King Kai's World, only not utterly irrelevant after just one season of episodes."

"Oh. Neat." I said, stunned.

"Check this out." Bill said, snapping his fingers and lighting a fire, and then closing his hand and turning it off.

"MOTHER OF ZEUS!" Shannon screamed while Hilda's jaw dropped.

"You're a firestarter?!" Hilda asked.

"A twisted firestarter." Bill bragged.

"But those... whatever they're called, the fire kids, they only come once every hundred years or something, right?" Shannon asked while Hilda facepalmed.

"That's what she said!" Miles yelled, coming in again.

"Shut up, Miles!" Everyone except me shouted.

"Nnneat. Does this make me the Chosen One?" Bill asked. "'Cause with powers like these, I'm sure not gonna be the Frozen One."

"Maybe? You'd have to ask the Oracle." Hilda said.

"Ok." Bill said, and then he started yelling. "Now, can anyone tell me HOW YOU RAN ACROSS THE SURFACE OF THE WATER EARLIER TODAY?"

"I don't know!" I said.

"Is that one of her powers?" Hilda wondered.

"What are your powers?" I asked.

"She makes plants do stuff." Bill said. "It's cooler than it sounds. Now, focus. You. Running. On water. While being slower than me. HOW?"

"Um... is that one of my powers?" She asked.

"Only one way to find out." Bill said, picking me up and carrying me out of the room, taking me to the camp lake, and throwing me in.

I landed on soft, squishy water, like a trampoline, only it didn't bounce me back up.

"Huh." Hilda said. "Neat."

"You are VIOLATING the LAWS OF PHYSICS like they're AN ALTAR BOY!" Bill yelled angrily. "Sure, I have super metalworking skills, heat resistance, and I can burn stuff with fire, but THIS?! My powers make sense thanks to science, yours don't! You're just standing on that ocean like it's a solid surface, no surface tension tricks involved! YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT!"

Shannon laughed and patted him on the back. "Ha! Science. I remember when I believed in that."

Bill glared at her so hard she burst into flames, but when he heard her scream, he snapped out of it and turned off the fire with a snap of his fingers.

"He's a fire kid?" Someone asked.

"But there's already a fire kid, but him and his friends have gone on a quest!"

"I thought fire kids were supposed to be rare."

"What the heck is wrong with his clothes?"

"Does this mean the old one died?"

"Don't say that! They'll succeed!"

"How does he have such control over his fire?"

"Do you think he practices?"

"Seriously, what the heck is wrong with his clothes?"

"I like them."

"You're weird."

"Your face is weird."

"Do you think she's from one of the water cabins?"

"No, she'd have waterbending like him if she was a Poseidon kid."

"Hey, girl! Waterbend!"

"My name is Jackie Chandler!" I said. "Bill, what's waterbending?"

"Well, like this, but with water." Bill said, doing kung fu punches and shooting fireballs.

I wished I knew kung fu. I copied the things he did, but no fire came out. No water, either.

"Ok, try waterbending stuff." He said, doing different and more fluid martial arts stuff.

I copied, but again, no fire or water happened.

"Alright, you're not a bender." Bill said. "Let's test defenses."

He punched a big fireball at me, and it set me on fire, but then I started to glow with a gold light and I stuck out my arms. The fire was blown away into two parts, which disappeared when he closed his hand.

"Fascinating." Bill said. "Was that light magic?"

"It didn't feel like magic." Hilda commented. "Just... pure light. Purer than the sun, even if it wasn't as bright."

"Fire a Kamehameha at the ocean." Bill ordered.

"A what?" I asked.

"Do and say exactly as I do. Shouldn't be too hard, it's what you've been trained for your whole life." Bill said, walking to the wooden pier. "I'ma firing my lazer, blaaarrgh!" He shouted, shooting a flamethrower from his mouth. It burned the water and made steam rise, and looked like it could burn a house to ash in seconds.

When he was done, I copied him. "I'ma firing my lazer, blaaarrgh!" I shouted, yelling at the ocean and not firing any lasers.

I then noticed that Bill had set me on fire again, but my Light Shield got rid of the fire, so I wasn't hurt.

"Just kidding, THIS is the Kamehameha." Bill said, squatting and putting his hands back, making a fireball. "KAAAR MEEEYYY, HAAHH, MAAY, HA!" He yelled, firing it in an enormous fire laser that set the pier on fire, and the whole camp, and everyone in it.

He quickly turned off the fire, but tons of people already had burned marks, and lots of steam came up from the lake I was on, which was now a lot smaller and it had less water in it. Hilda started to cast healing spells while Shannon ate ambrosia and started rubbing cream on the nearest people. The water level had lowered, and my Light Shield protected me from the fire and the boiling steam, which was really hot.

"Ok, now you try it." Bill said.

I squatted like he had, and put my hands back like he had, not making a fireball like he did. "KAAAR MEEEYYY, HAAHH, MAAY, HA!" I yelled, throwing my hands forwards like he did, not making any flamethrower lasers.

"Aw." I said. Everyone boo'd me once they were healed and they'd stopped screaming, and they went to get something to eat. I followed, getting off the water and going back to the ground.

"Cheer up, physics-breaker." Bill said, patting me on the back. "At least you tried."

I gasped. "Why are you nice to me?"

"Because... Ben didn't hate you as much as I did, and I didn't hate you much at all. All the religion stuff is annoying, but you're not a bad person." Bill said.

"Oh Tin Man, you do have a heart!" I said, hugging him and almost crying.

"That's racist." Bill muttered. "I'm not a tin man, I'm a steampunk badass."

"You can't be racist against white people." Miles laughed.

Bill shoved me away so he could punch the heck out of Miles while his hands burst into flame, a ring of fire surrounding them both. Miles did a leg sweep, but Bill jumped, but Miles got up and jumped away and and pulled out a bow. Bill burned his arrows with a snap of his fingers, and then shot fire jets from his hands to jump into the air and spin around while sticking out one leg, kicking Miles in the face hard enough to knock him down. Bill yelled something in Japanese, but I don't know what he said. And then a star shape made of fire appeared above them, and the fire walls went higher so we couldn't see them any more.

"Hey, want something to eat?" Hilda asked, taking my hand and guiding me to the food table. "Miles usually gets slapped or beaten up for being stupid. We can give him some ambrosia later, and he'll be fine."

"Ok." I said, finding it weird. It was a bit like those old cartoons Mandy liked, where Daffy Duck would get shot or stabbed or set on fire or burned to ash, but he'd be fine in the next scene. And even though something awful happened to your favourite character, you weren't worried, because it was a weird but funny comedy where pain didn't matter. She once said she thought heaven would be a bit like Loony Tunes, where you can do funny stuff forever without getting hurt. I think that would be nice. "But doesn't it hurt?"

"Doesn't what hurt?" Shannon asked.

"Being beaten up." I said.

"Oh. Uh... probably?" Shannon said.

"What if we talked to him?" I asked.

Shannon blinked, and then frowned. "No, that won't work. He's stupid, and always saying stupid stuff."

"Then you should teach him to not say stupid stuff, so he won't say that any more." I said.

"We do teach him. By hitting him and beating him up."

"We both have our own way of doing things." I said. "Which one do you think works better?"

Shannon stared at me for a few moments, and then sighed. "You're right... When Bill's had his fun, I'll toss him the ambrosia and talk to him."

She walked off, and Hilda smiled. "I like you." She said, patting my back.

"Um, thank you." I said, blushing. Because she complimented me, and I wasn't used to that. "Why do you like me?"

"Because you're... different." She said. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but... something about you is different."

"I'm not different! I'm good. I'm american, I love God, I'm nice to people, and I do everything I'm told."

"Were you told to do something about Miles?" Hilda asked.

"What? No, it was just... the right thing to do." I said, seeing what she was saying.

"Exactly. I think you give this God of yours too much credit. You're nice. Really nice. And I like that. But I like Bill more, so don't get any ideas."

"Oh, good." I said.

"What do you mean, oh, good?" She asked. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"I don't know. You're not a guy. So you have to go be with Bill. Or a different guy. That's how it works. Doing it different is weird."

"Doing it different can be fun." Hilda said, smiling.

"But I'm not... Like you." I said, not sure what to say.

"NOBODY is like me." Hilda boasted, folding her arms.

"That sounds really lonely." I said.

"Huh?"

"Being so alone."

"I wasn't... that was a boast. It's supposed to be cool."

"Oh. Well... It just sounded sad to me." I admitted.

"Whatever. You're different, and I'm keeping an eye on you." Hilda said, walking faster to get to the food hall.

I walked faster, too. I might not have known why I was here, or why this was happening, but I did know that I was on this world for a reason.

And if this Camp Half-Blood exists to train these superpowered kids called Demigods to use their superpowers, then... I'll train to be the very best Demigod of all!


End file.
